As a result of stricter regulations and critical views on the position of researchers, field studies are being conducted less frequently. Keeping distance seems a safe standard, but data collected at close range is valuable for cultural criminologists who investigate people of flesh and blood in real life – the contributions in this theme issue report on ethnographic or biographical research. The authors' extensive reflections paint a realistic picture of their one-to-one relationships with the protagonists of their research.

After collaborating with the author, Jan, the protagonist of a biography, commits a life crime. A 3.5-year sentence is followed by a more extended stay in a secure forensic unit (tbs). These settings are different. Jan is familiar with detention, and it is easy for him to move in this masculine world. However, in the forensic unit, he struggles as many adjustments are required. Over a period of 13 years, the relationship between Jan and the author changes. It reaches an equilibrium as gifts reciprocate, and this is a reflection of Jan’s process of resocialization.

The movie Lord of War led to many discussions between Constantine – the biographee of my criminological biography of an arms dealer (Eski, 2022) – and myself. While the movie portrays arms dealer as devoid of morality, exploiting war and human suffering for personal gain (Niccol, 2005), Constantine’s biography paints a different picture. Through engagement with him, condemned as a ‘merchant of death,’ I discovered a man who construes and maintains his moral compass, navigating ambiguity by shifting principles and roles. This article delves into the challenges faced by a biographer in understanding the essence of the biographee’s life, particularly when grappling with moral complexity.

This article centers on the process of (gang) desistance of Jermaine, a man with a substantial criminal record who has been part of the Dutch Crips gang for over a decade. From a phenomenological perspective, drawing on 15 years of longitudinal ethnographic research, Jermaine’s process of desistance is described, with specific attention for his first steps in leaving gang and street life behind, his search for regular work, and the transformation of his (gang) identity. This life story illustrates how much desistance should be understood as a struggle, accompanied by periods of relapsing into old patterns of (criminal) behavior. In addition to these more practical challenges in terms of act-desistance (Nugent and Schinkel, 2016), Jermaine’s story show­cases the importance of identity in the process of desistance. Above all, Jermaine’s story indicates that for some, desistance means that the old criminal or gang identity does not need to be casted aside, but that it become part of the new identity of the desister.

Reflection of an inexperienced researcher who wrote a criminological biography by working with a hardened protagonist. The positionality of researcher and protagonist is used to examine how they built trust and understanding, and to explain which difficulties they faced during the process. The most challenging aspect of their collaboration was dealing with the traumatic nature of the protagonist’s life story, which brought up anger and sadness and caused the protagonist to become reluctant to hold the interviews. Dealing with these issues required a reflexive process and flexibility regarding the approach to the interviews.